5 Reasons Your Wife Thinks You're an Idiot.

Marriages can be tough. Heck, working together with human beings in any capacity can be rough business, but in this case you’re jumping into the foxhole with someone who splits electricity bills with you and sees your junk constantly. Or less constantly, depending on your foxhole schedules.

I’ve been with my partner in crime and best mate for 10 years as of next August, and though I still make mistakes constantly I’ve learned so much about navigating our relationship. Every marriage and human connection is different, so the reasons below vary from person to person, but these are the most common areas that usually need improvement.

So, here, brave reader, are five light hearted but very real reasons your wife thinks you're an idiot.

1. You're not doing enough.

Cleaning up after yourself? Unfinished projects all over the place? Dirty socks left out? I can neither confirm nor deny that I have done any and all of these. Chipping in, even when you haven’t got any energy left to give, MUCH LIKE I FEEL AT THIS VERY MOMENT, can be the key to getting stuff done.

Start with the fun stuff. Or the hard stuff. Or the stuff no one wants to do. Just start. The key here is activity and diligence.

2. You're doing too much.

Alright, tough guy. Maybe you’re doing too much? Ever think about that. I recently read an article by a guy who realized doing ALL THE THINGS wasn’t helpful for his life, let alone his relationship.

Life is such a balancing act, but you can’t balance if you don’t have sturdy legs on the table. You are a leg. Make sense? Didn’t think so. I’m tired.

3. You aren't romantic.

Man, this is a tough one. Typically, people are super schmoopy in the beginning. Right? Well, life gets in the way and kids stomp all over you. It’s tough. But creating that relationship, boy, it's the best. Learning about each other for the first time is a blast. Maybe there are things you don’t know? Make it an adventure and figure it out.

Or just show up in a Zorro cape with roses. She’ll either laugh at you to the point of sympathy or actually be into it. Win/win.

4. You Always____________________

Leave the toilet seat up. Hog the bed. Leave the fridge open. Forget to empty the bin. Have bad breath. THE LIST NEVER ENDS. Like the list of annoying crap you can pull on your spouse, there are a thousand options for her to grab onto. I’m not sure there is anything you can do about it, but at least you can play the game.

5. You aren't reading her mind.

What’s wrong with you? You should be so evolved and understanding that you know everything before it happens. Go watch “Minority Report” then watch “Dead Zone” and follow that up with “Serenity.”

Well, that last one is on the list because it’s awesome. But seriously, you should be able to work 3-5 steps ahead. That’s the only way to stay sane in a relationship.

As Lewis Carroll put it: “Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”

These thoughts could apply to any sex, really. Let’s not discriminate here. People are nuts. And relationships are like kerosene for crazy, if you’re not careful.

God Has Trademarked Manhood

This is how trademarking works. It’s a claim on something original or unique that establishes ownership. Many might use, build on, or add something to the original, but the trademark establishes the absolute first origin of something. It’s important in business—it’s more important in creation.

Man is God’s creative work.

God holds the trademark on creation. More specifically, God holds the trademark on manhood. All of God’s creation was brought into being with a sense of care and love, but when he created man he didn’t speak him into existence as he did the stars, water, land, and animals. Instead God innovated a new technique in creation: God formed man. This term is rich in depth and meaning—God handmade man by sculpting him from what he had already created.

Genesis 1:26–28 is considered a summary statement of the creation of both men and women. In that summary, though, we find a statement of purpose along with mere description. The key is in the word image. Those five letters are jam-packed with fundamental theological truth that gives us insight not only into God’s original intent in human creation, but also his ongoing purpose for us in the world.

 

Work is a key part of who we are as men.

Man was meant to function like a mirror—something to reflect the image of God into creation. Humanity, made in the image of God, was created to be an earthly representation of who God is. In man’s God-given dominion and rule over creation, he was to display the ultimate rule of God in his limited dominion.

Working men

As an image-bearer, man was to reflect God’s heavenly reign on earth. In other words, man represents God by virtue of being in his image. In representing God, man was to glorify the God who created him.

This is an incredible responsibility. Both Genesis 1:28 and 2:15 describe this responsibility as the act of subduing and caring for creation. In subduing creation, man is given the ability to use it for his personal benefit on God’s terms. In that light, the command in Genesis 1:28 might be paraphrased like this: “Harness its potential and use its resources for your benefit”

Man was called to subdue, care, and rule in God’s name.

The word care in Genesis 2:15 carries a similar sense. The man is called “to work it and keep” the garden. In essence, this responsibility was a job.

It's no coincidence that man got a job before he had a woman! Work was good in those days—more than good, in fact. Then and now, in a redeemed sense, work is a key part of who we are as men.

Man was called to subdue. And he was called to care. But he was also called to rule. In ruling they would serve as God’s vice-regents (a person who acts in the name of another) on Earth. This rule was not to be done with an iron fist. If humans were really going to reflect the image of God’s rule on their own, they would accept the responsibility of seeing to the welfare of that which is put under them and the privilege of using it for their benefit.

Imaging in relationship

We need to be careful here that we don’t miss one of the chief components of being God’s image-bearer. As an image-bearer, man is to subdue. He is to care and work. And he is to rule. All these components are key, but what is missing up to this point is the relationship.

Having a relationship with God was what made image-bearing more than just some sort of political appointment. God designed humans with a unique capacity for relationship because it was his intent that this centerpiece of his creation, man and woman, would be relationally connected to him for eternity. Without relationship, none of the other aspects of being an image-bearer would matter.

Jesus restores manhood

In the gospel, Jesus is restoring our vision of manhood. He is blowing up our own versions of what it means to be a man with his own quintessential masculinity. His life, death, love, and resurrection push us onward to our restored relationship with God and others.

In him and in him alone, we can find that the gospel is applied to all areas of our lives that we might become the men God intended for us to be—those conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. Let us, then, commit our lives to journeying with our Savior, having repented and being restored by grace alone through faith alone in Jesus Christ alone.

Why Men Hate Coming to Church.

Why do men feel so uncomfortable coming to church these days?

God didn’t send girly-men to preach the Gospel, build churches and reform society back in the days of the early church. And He certainly won’t do that today either.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the state of our culture. I’ve put all my chips on one strategy: Men don’t feel welcomed in churches anymore because Christianity has been feminized.

As a part of a strategy to change, we need to stop emasculating maleness in men and the solution is simple. Start encouraging men in the church to be men – not women in drag.

I struggled to find statistics in Australia, but the numbers in America are staggering and I have no reason to doubt they would be relative here.


The typical U.S. congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61 percent female and 39 percent male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories.

On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches.

This Sunday almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will worship without their husbands.

Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants.

As many as 90 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it by their 20th birthday. Many of them will never return.

More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only two out of six attend church on any given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church.

These are absolutely frightening statistics, but they are not surprising.

The spinoff effects of this reality can be seen in our families (or at least what’s left of them), our schools, our clubs and in the prisons of our society. And ironically, with the death of genuine masculinity, an increasing number of young men are seeking to reclaim their manhood in homosexuality.

On a cultural level, we all know that the idea of a “real man” has almost been beaten out of our social consciousness. Men are objects of scorn and vilification. Watch any TV commercial or sitcom and you’ll witness a barrage of attacks, all designed to assault the dignity of real masculinity and the historic male role model as provider and protector.

I’m not saying anything new here. Many have already made this point, some much better than I, but what concerns me isn’t that broader culture has rejected masculinity, it's that the church has aided and abetted this concept of manhood, and it’s not just the liberal churches that are guilty either.

All too often the pastoral “role model” in evangelical circles mirrors that “Simpson’s” character, the Rev. Love Joy. Our pastors are either quaint, odd, harmless pushovers, or they are slick metrosexual types who can cry at the drop of a hat – literally – but have absolutely no courage to stand up against real evil or teach the truth with authority.

They’ve suppressed godly male assertiveness, opting instead to “be nice.” They have forfeited their calling to “speak the truth” in the interest of political correctness. And they have decided that manipulating people with emotional self-help books and anecdotal sermonizing is better for the bottom line than training and teaching the men in their congregations to be leaders and warriors for Christ. And as a result, the church is suffering from a death of real men.

Is feminism to blame?

No doubt feminism is a force of evil in society. It is evil not because it has tried to establish equality. Rather it is precisely because it hasn’t established equality that it is guilty of perpetrating a fraud. What feminism has succeeded in doing is to convince both sexes that the only masculine identity that is valuable is an effeminate male. That in fact, the only way for equality to exist is for men to be like women, or simply not to exist.

Now, we can blame the feminist movement all we want – but it won’t change a thing because in the end, men have embraced their own feminisation. Men have done this to themselves because they have become soft and lazy.

Men are far more interested in accommodating the women’s movement than in asserting their masculinity. And whether that’s because we want to be “popular with the girls,” because we are too insecure and unsure about leading, or if it comes out of sheer exasperation – “You want to take over the leadership? Go ahead, I just don’t want to argue anymore” – we’ve conceded our role in family, church and society.

But let’s be clear about one thing: We had no right to palm off that responsibility.

The solution is very simple: Men need to be men again. They need to take up their responsibility the way God intended them to behave. And the church needs to re-learn how to help them do that again.

The Importance of Following Instructions

"Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers,
and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord." (NIV)

Proverbs 16:20

We live in a world of instructions. Practically everything that can be purchased comes with a set of instructions. Even boxes and cans of food quite often include instructions on how to utilize the product in some new recipe. Instructions are a vital part of our daily lives and influence us more than we realize. It is important to follow instructions for at least three reasons.

First, following instructions frees us from frustration. How many times has a dad gotten in a hurry on Christmas Eve, trying to assemble bicycles and other assorted items without reading the instructions only to find that he should have inserted Tab A in Slot B before cutting along dotted line C. It is easy to be overcome by overconfidence when it comes to assembling children's toys, thinking that we can do it by ignoring the instructions and simply looking at the picture on the box. After all, who has time to read all of that fine print and count to make sure that the package includes the right number of nuts, bolts, and thing-a-majigs. Ignoring the instructions inevitably leads to some very frustrating moments.

Ignoring God's instructions for our lives will also lead to some very frustrating moments. How often do we think that we have life all figured out. How often do we think that we can handle life's problems on the strength of our understanding alone? How often do we fail to see the bigger picture and get completely frustrated with life, people, and ourselves? Ignoring God's instructions as found in His Word will eventually lead to frustration.

Proverbs 13:13 states, "He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded" (NIV). We need divine perspective more than we realize.

Second, following instructions delivers us from danger. There is a tag on the cord of my electric hair clippers that reads, "Danger--Electrocution possible if used or dropped in water." There is a warning stamped on plastic bags that contain that states, "Warning: To avoid danger of suffocation, keep away from babies and children. This is not a toy."

Our streets are dotted with instructions at the end of long metal poles: "Stop ... Do Not Enter ... One Way ... Slow—Children At Play." We simply cannot escape instructions, regardless of where we go.

Quite often, instructions are posted to keep us from endangering our lives and the lives of others. When these instructions are neglected tragedy is often the result.

God's Word is filled with instruction that warns us of danger. There are many negative commands in the Word of God, the "Thou shalt not..." passages. 

Rather than seeing God's negative commands in a negative light however, we ought to see them as being doubly positive.

However, behind every negative command stand two positive principles of protection. When God says "No" it is because He wants to protect us from danger and provide something better for us. It would benefit us greatly to willingly follow God's instructions lest we put ourselves and others in danger. We would be wise to heed the advice of Proverbs 4:13, "Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life" (NIV).

Third, following instructions enhances our enjoyment. When we follow the instructions that come with a purchased product, our enjoyment of that product is enhanced. We enjoy using the product and more than likely will discover that the product will last longer when used properly and in accordance with the manufacturer's instructions.

So it is with our lives. We will enjoy life more when we purpose to live our lives in accordance with our Maker's instructions. In some cases we can expect to live longer when we follow our Maker's instructions because we will avoid paths, habits, and relationships that might endanger and even end our lives prematurely. The writer of Proverbs was right in stating, "Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers."

10 Tips for Maintaining Sexual Integrity

Normally, I'd write a blog each week about issues men encounter every day, real life issues. This week however, I am borrowing material straight from this weeks Men of Honour study that was delivered to the group by my long time friend who helps me prepare and deliver our studies.

He provides 10 practical tips on maintaining sexual integrity that all men can adhere to.

TEN TIPS FOR MAINTAINING SEXUAL INTEGRITY

 

Tip 1: GET REAL

Recognize that sexual temptation is unavoidable in our sex-obsessed culture. Erotic images on billboards, films, television and a thousand other stimulants are bombarding you daily. Being a Christian doesn't exempt you from temptation - the godliest of men can fall prey to it. So the first step towards maintaining sexual integrity is to get real. Admit to yourself that sexual temptation is a problem that you have to reckon with. Remember John's warning: "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves" (I John 1:8).

 

Tip 2: GET SERIOUS

You should know by now that sexual sin ravages everyone connected with it. What you may not know is that every sexual fantasy you entertain, every flirtatious conversation you keep up, or every "second look" you indulge in is the seed for AIDS, adultery, a broken heart, a shattered life. Get serious - if you're entertaining lust, you're dancing on a cliff. Take concrete action now while you can. "Lust, when it is conceived, brings forth sin, and sin brings forth death." (James 1: 15)

 

Tip 3: GET READY

If you really believe an earthquake is coming someday, you prepare for it by developing an emergency plan. If you really believe sexual temptation is both common and can become lethal, you'll make an "emergency plan" for it, too. Decide in advance what to do when you're tempted: how to distract yourself, who to call, how to escape close calls. Even St. Paul admitted: "Like an athlete I train my body to do what it should, not what it wants to do. Otherwise, I fear that I myself might be declared unfit." (I Corinthians 9:27) Can you really afford to do less?

 

Tip 4: GET CONNECTED

Sexual sin thrives in the dark. If you're caught up in any sexual vice, one thing is certain: The secrecy surrounding your behavior is what strengthens its hold on you. However ashamed you may feel about admitting your problem to another person, the reality is this: You can't overcome this on your own. If you could, wouldn't you have done so by now? Take a hint from James: "Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another, that you might be healed." (James 5:16) Find a trusted, mature Christian friend to confide in. Make that friend a partner in your recovery, and NEVER assume that you've reached a point where you no longer need accountability.

 

Tip 5: GET BRUTAL

I believe there's an eleventh commandment somewhere that says "Thou Shalt Not Kid Thy Self." If you're serious about sexual integrity, you'll distance yourself not only from the particular sexual sin you're most prone to (fantasizing, pornography, affairs, prostitution) but you'll ALSO distance yourself from any person or thing that entices you towards that sin. Sometimes, even a legitimate activity (certain movies, music or clubs, for example) may be OK for other people to indulge in, but not for you. Get brutally honest about your lifestyle: anything in it that makes you prone to sexual sin has to go." All things are lawful for me", Paul said, "but not all things are edifying. I will not be brought under the power of anything." (I Corinthians 6:12)

 

Tip 6: GET HELP

Sexual sins are often symptomatic of deeper emotional needs that a man is trying to satisfy in all the wrong ways. Repenting of the sin itself is necessary first step, but recognizing the conflicts or needs that led you into that behavior may be the next step, requiring some specialized care from a Christian professional. Don't hesitate to seek Godly counsel if you're trapped in cycles of ongoing, out-of-control behavior. The answer you need may be more than just "pray and get over it!".King David (who was no stranger to sexual sin, by the way) found refuge in Samuel's wise mentoring. (I Samuel 19:18) If you're willing to seek professional help for taxes, medical care or career counseling, surely you'll be willing to do the same to maintain your sexual integrity.

 

 

Tip 7: GET COMFORTABLE

The problem of sexual temptation isn't going anywhere. It's been with us since time immemorial, and no doubt it will plague us until Christ comes. So get comfortable with the idea that you'll need to manage your sexual desires throughout life, always remembering that your sexual integrity is but a part of the general life-long sanctification process all Christians go through. "I count myself not to have attained perfection", Paul told the Phillipians. "I am still not all I should be." (Phillipians 3: 12-13) So learn to love the process of pressing on, not perfection.

Tip 8: GET LOVE

"I've been looking for love in all the wrong places", an old song laments. The sexual sin you're drawn towards may indeed be a cheap (though intense) substitute for love. You can repent of the sin, but not of the need the sin represents. So get love in your life: friendships, family, spouse, fellow believers. A man who truly loves, and knows he's truly loved, is far less likely to search for what he already has in places he'll never find it. "Why do you spend your money on that which is not bread, or your labor on that which cannot satisfy?", Isaiah asked. (Isaiah 55:2) Learn to be intimate and authentic. It's one of the best ways to protect your heart and your integrity.

 

Tip 9: GET GRACE

It isn't the sinless man who makes it to the end; rather, it's the man who's learned to pick himself up after he stumbles. If you're struggle seems relentless, remember this: when you commit yourself to sexual integrity, you commit yourself to a direction, not to perfection. You may stumble along the way - that's no justification for sin, just a realistic view of life in this fallen world. What determines the success or failure of an imperfect man is his willingness to pick himself up, confess his fault, and continue in the direction he committed himself to. Remember Paul's approach: "Forgetting those things that are behind, I press on towards the mark of the high calling." (Phillippians 3: 14)

 

Tip 10: GET A LIFE

What's your passion? What's your calling? How clear are your goals? And, by the way, do you have any fun? The man who doesn't have a life - a passion, a sense of meaning, an ability to play as hard as he works - is a man with an emptiness tailor-made for sexual sin. Life is about more than keeping yourself sexually pure, as important as purity is. It's about knowing who and why you are, where your priorities lie, and where you're headed. If you don't know that much about yourself, you have some serious thinking to do. Commit yourself to developing your life as a good steward of your gifts and opportunities, and make that the context in which you seek to maintain your sexual integrity. Sexual integrity for it's own sake is a good thing; sexual integrity for the sake of a higher calling is better. So by all means turn from your sin. But as you do, turn towards a goal-oriented, passionate, meaningful life. That is repentance in its truest, finest sense.

 

 

 

What is Your Word Worth?

Everything is measured by some standard of value. Material things are measured by length, breadth, weight, density, usefulness, or intrinsic value.

Character also has its standard of measurement. Some people are valued more highly than others, whether in the community, in the church, or in the nation. People are valued, not for their physical size or weight, but for their abilities and more especially for their characters.

In a Christian, the special thing of value, and the only special thing, is his character. If one's character is not of a higher and better quality than that of people in general, in my personal opinion, that one has no right to the name 'Christian'.

The quality of one's character is indicated in various ways. A man's words are generally a clear index to one's character. A person is judged by them, and his value is reckoned by the reliance that may be placed upon his word. We all know someone on whose word we fully rely. If they tell us anything, we believe them. If they make us a promise, we do not expect it to be broken. We rely upon them because they have shown by their conduct that they themselves place a high value upon their own word.

It's often said of such people, "If he says it is so, it is true," or, "If he makes a promise, he will fulfil it." Such men wield a strong influence in a community. People can easily believe and trust in their character. It is a sad fact that such individuals are the exception rather than the rule, even among professed Christians.

How many times promises are made only to be broken or forgotten! This is a grave matter and marks a serious defect in Christian character. We should never make a promise unless we fully expect to fulfil it, and we ought to feel under deep obligation to keep our promise. If we are careless and neglectful of this, it is sure to lower us in men's esteem, and we shall be cheapened and discredited.

Hasty Promises.

Many times promises are made hastily. The person does not stop to consider what he really is promising; he does not weigh its meaning. He says, "Yes, yes, I will"; but later when he thinks the matter over, it looks different to him. He is sorry that he made the promise, and begins to look for some way out so that he will not have to fulfil it.

These hasty promises are just as binding as any others. If we ignore them and do not make our word good, the persons to whom we have made them will have just reason to condemn us. It is easier to make promises than it is to fulfil them.

Beware of making haste to promise. Think about the fulfilment. Think whether you really want to do, or really will do, what you promise. Consider your promises binding. Have the fear of God before you just as much in this matter as in other things. If you wish people to value your word, you must show that you value it yourself. If you do not value it enough to keep it, do not expect others to value it. If you value your word, it will make you careful about your promises -- careful in making them, careful in keeping them.

Do not make rash promises.

Consider what you are promising. Is it something that you can perform? Consider your ability and what things may hinder. Have you any just reason to suppose that you can fulfil it? Would it be wise for you to do it? Would it be best? Have you made other promises that will conflict with it? Remember that when you once promise, if you do not keep your word your failure leaves a shadow upon your character in the mind of the one you promised unless there is some good and sufficient reason to excuse you in his sight.

Do not make careless promises.

The Bible tells us that in our planning we should say, "If the Lord will"; that is, we should take in to consideration that the unexpected may happen. We do not know the future; therefore we ought not to make our promises too positive. We ought to qualify them so as to allow for hindrances.

We ought to be honest in making our promises. Many promises are made when there is no intention of carrying them out. Many people, rather than to say no, will promise and then refuse to perform, thereby making themselves liars. They have not manhood enough to refuse and honestly tell why, so they make a promise and break it. That is the coward's way out. It is the dishonest way out.

Some people say, "If the Lord wills, I will do so," when they do not consider the Lord in the matter at all, but simply mean, "If I do not change my mind." If you think you may change your mind, do not commit yourself definitely. If you are not fully decided, do not be afraid to say that you do not know what you will do. Be honest enough to let the other know the state of your mind. Be honest in making promises; be honest in fulfilling them.

Fidelity to Promises.

Do not make too many promises. He who is too free to promise, places little value upon his promises. He forgets them readily or lets some trifle hinder the performance of them. He always has a ready excuse to ease his conscience and to release himself from the obligation. This indicates a want of character, a lack of real sincerity.

When you make a promise, do not forget it, do not break it. Never disappoint people when you can help it. They feel disappointment as keenly as you do. There is an old saying that "promises are made to be broken." Are your promises of the 'meant to be broken' variety?

When you make promises, keep them. They are a test of your character. I do not mean that you should be under bondage to your promises. Sometimes we fully believe we can and will perform them, but later find that it is impossible. In such a case we should explain matters and so relieve the mind of the one to whom the promise was made and show him that the failure to make good our word is not due to neglect or unwillingness.

Keep your business promises. Many persons get into debt and promise to pay and then just let things drift along. This is wrong. Pay your debts when you agree to, or give a reason for not doing so, and let it be a reason, not an excuse. If you promise to do work for some one, do it. Keep your promise if you must sacrifice to do so.

What is your word worth? What value do you place on it? What value do others place on it? What value does God place on it? God wants you to "speak the truth, and lie not." Your standing, your influence, your usefulness -- all depend upon your faithfulness; and if you are faithful, you will be faithful to your promises.

Think seriously over these things. If you are at fault, set about to make it right. Such a fault will be a blight upon your life and upon your character until it is corrected.

Do You Really Know God?

Genesis 3 relates one of the most amazing stories in the Bible.

Eve was convinced by a talking snake that she didn't have everything she needed to make her happy.

How could this happen?

It's understandable how people today are discontent and looking for something, but Adam and Eve were perfect. They were living in a perfect world with no problems. How could they fall for such a line?

One of the factors was that they didn't really know God. You may think, "What? They walked and talked with God every day in the cool of the evening. Certainly they knew God!"

But they didn't really know the nature and character of our loving Father, or they would never have believed the lie that God was keeping something good from them. Before Satan could tempt Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, he had to make her believe that the Lord didn't have her best interests in mind.

God had never given Adam and Eve any reason to doubt His love and care for them, but how did they know there wasn't something better out there. Since they didn't know what bad was, they had no way to compare how good God was. They had never had the thought that God loved them so much that He would give His only Son to die for them. Their knowledge of God was very limited compared to what we now know of God.

This is a startling truth. We can actually know God more completely and intimately than Adam and Eve did. God has revealed Himself to us through His Word in a way that makes us infinitely more prepared to resist Satan's lies than Adam and Eve were.

Knowing God through His Word is better than having some visible or audible experience. That's what Peter said. In 2 Peter 1:15-21. Peter was trying to assure his readers that the Gospel he had communicated to them was not just some fable or tradition he had heard.

He had known Jesus personally. He even saw Jesus on the mountain when he began to radiate light, and the audible voice of God came out of heaven saying, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him" (Matt. 17:5).

That should be enough proof for anybody, right? No, Peter doesn't stop there. He goes on to say, "We have also a more sure word of prophecy" (2 Pet. 1:19).

Wait! What could be better or more trustworthy than seeing and hearing for yourself that Jesus was God. In verse 20, he says that the "more sure word" is the Scriptures. The Scriptures are more sure reliable than our own senses.

Most of us have not had this attitude. In fact, many people only study the Word hoping that by doing so, they can attain to some experience. If that experience were to come, they would throw the Bible down in a second and revel in the experience. We have become so dominated by sense knowledge that in most people's lives, it overrules everything else.

That was Eve's problem. She wanted to experience for herself what good and evil were. She wanted knowledge that only came by experience. God's Word wasn't good enough. She had to feel it. Sound familiar?

Just as with Eve, Satan has deceived us into thinking that what we have is not enough. He has us chasing an elusive dream that doesn't exist. Sure we can feel and experience God in some tangible ways, but that should not be our goal.

Through God's Word, we can know Him in a way that Adam and Eve never did. And if we truly know Him, Satan will be powerless to lead us away from God because it's the goodness of God that leads us to repentance (Rom. 2:4).

Herein lies the real root problem for everyone: We don't know God as we should. It's not God's fault. He has been intricately involved in the affairs of men and has meticulously recorded His dealings in His Word. He has also given us the Holy Spirit to reveal the great truths of His Word to us. We just haven't been showing up for class.

The Lord said, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge" (Hosea 4:6). Specifically, the knowledge about the very nature and character of God is missing. Galatians 5:6 says faith works by love.

If we really knew the love of God in an intimate way, our faith would work too.

It's my hope that as you read these blogs and are challenged to study God's Word, you will experience an intimacy that lets you experience Him like never before.

The Dangers of Emotional Affairs

Is there anything wrong with having a close friend of the opposite sex after you’re married? 

While there may be no clear answer, there are compelling reasons to be cautious about opposite-sex friendships outside of your spouse’s company. No matter how happy and secure your marriage, you should always protect your relationship against temptation, deception and potential affairs.

Most affairs begin as an innocent connection between two people. You may be brought together through work, church or school. But if your guard isn’t up and your boundaries aren’t well-established, a newly developing connection can quickly become entangled. As you spend time together, either face-to-face, through the computer or by phone, you may find yourself gradually sucked into an emotional affair that can rip a marriage to shreds even though the relationship never becomes physical.

The damage begins when you find yourself sharing information, thoughts or feelings that should have been kept between you and your spouse. This is an emotional betrayal that cuts into the heart of a marriage. The damage worsens as you begin to distance yourself emotionally and physically from your spouse and increase time with your friend.

Eventually, the friendship crosses the line when it introduces elements that should never be part of a marriage – secrets and lies. This deception destroys the foundation of marital security, and once it begins, it’s difficult to stop.

Because an emotional affair remains nonsexual, it is easy to rationalize:

“We’re just friends.”

“He’s never touched me.”

“We aren’t doing anything wrong.”

The relationship continues because the unfaithful spouse reasons away guilt.

Before you were married, you may have had lots of friends of the opposite sex. But once you’ve said “I do,” your relationship with your spouse must now take priority over every other relationship, and it must be protected against any threat.

So if you are close friends with someone of the opposite sex, you may need to honestly look at that relationship to determine if you have fallen into an emotional affair. Here are a few warning signs that may indicate your friendship has crossed the line from platonic to romantic:

Do your conversations with your friend include things that should be kept between you and your spouse?

Do you find yourself daydreaming about your friend?

Have you found yourself withdrawing from your spouse emotionally or physically?

Do you look for excuses to see or talk to your friend?

Do you share thoughts, feelings and problems with your friend instead of your spouse?

Are you convinced that your friend understands you better than your spouse?

Is there flirting or sexual tension?

Do you look for “legal” ways to touch your friend (brush lint off his jacket, help her with her coat)?

Do you find yourself paying attention to how you look before you see your friend?

Is there any secrecy about your relationship (how much time you spend together, what you do together, what you talk about)?

Protect your marriage!

No marriage is affair proof. We are all at risk of losing our focus and being swept into an emotional affair. But you can do several things to safeguard your marriage:

Stay honest with yourself and your spouse. If you find yourself attracted to someone, admit it quickly to yourself and your spouse. Honesty is the key to preventing a relationship from escalating into an affair.

Avoid magazines, movies and other forms of entertainment that can increase your tolerance of affairs.

Try to see your relationships from your spouse’s perspective. What would your spouse be comfortable with? What would he or she feel about what you are doing?

Do not flirt. Most affairs begin with what’s considered “innocent flirting,” but there’s no such thing! Flirting is not a part of friendship.

Keep your marriage as your number one priority. Make sure you are working to meet your spouse’s most important needs. If you’re not sure what those are, ask.

Grow spiritually together. Pray with each other and for each other.

Set boundaries about how you will interact with the opposite sex. For instance, you and your spouse may decide that neither of you will be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even for business lunches or late nights at work.

Surround yourselves with happily married couples who don’t believe in fooling around.

You can keep your marriage safe from emotional affairs. But it requires open, honest communication and a commitment to do whatever it takes to keep your marriage your number one relationship.

What Are You Passionate About? Part 2

From last week's blog...

There are plenty of things that seem to comfort our soul and bring us temporary pleasure but just like junk food, the satisfaction fades quickly and leaves a dull ache in its wake. On the other side of the coin, the pleasures of God bring lasting satisfaction that doesn’t disappoint or leave a bad aftertaste.


Part 2

Have you got a passion for God or has it been snuffed out by distractions and things that are only temporary?

There are four simple things we can do to grow our passion for Him.

1) It goes without saying that we cannot love someone we do not know. 

Get to know God and what He has done for you. We would do well to remember that the Bible is more than a book; it is truly God’s love letter to us, revealing His love for us through the centuries, especially through the ministry of Jesus Christ, His Son. We must read the Bible as a letter from Him, asking His Holy Spirit to speak to our hearts about what He wants us to glean from it that day. Memorizing important verses and passages is also essential, as is thinking of ways to apply what we learn (Joshua 1:8).

2) Follow Jesus’ example of praying constantly and consistently.

When we examine the life of Jesus as well as that of Daniel and others who had a passion for God, we find that prayer was a vital ingredient in their relationships with God (even a quick reading of the gospels and the Book of Daniel reveals this). As with Bible study, prayer—sincere and open communication with God—is essential. You cannot imagine a man and woman growing in love without communicating, so prayer cannot be neglected without expecting one’s love for God to grow cold. Prayer is part of the armor against our greatest enemies (Ephesians 6:18).

3) Walk closely with Him NOW. 

Daniel and his three friends chose to obey God and refused to compromise in even the food they ate (Daniel 1). The others who were brought from Judah to Babylon as prisoners with them caved in and are never mentioned again. When the Jewish prisoners of war had their convictions challenged in a far greater way, it was only these few who stood alone for God (Daniel 3 and 6). In order to ensure that we will be passionate for God later, we need to walk with Him now and begin to obey Him in the smallest tests!

4) Eliminate the competition. 

Jesus said it is impossible to have two masters (Matthew 6:24). We are tempted to love the world (those things which please our eyes, make us feel good about ourselves, and gratify our fleshly desires) (1 John 2:15-17). James says that to seek to embrace the world and its friendship is enmity (hatred) toward God and spiritual adultery (James 4:4). We need to get rid of those things in our lives (friends who would lead us the wrong way, things that take up our time and energy and keep us from serving God more fully, pursuit of popularity, pursuit of possessions, and the pursuit of physical and emotional gratifications). God promises that if we pursue Him, He will not only provide for our needs (Matthew 6:33) but will give us our desires as well (Psalm 37:4-5)

There are many things in our life that can quench our passion…the loss of a loved one, circumstances and our immediate environment, but God has the ability to stir up a fire in us again IF we desire it.

If you feel distant from God or like your passion has gone….cry out to Him…He wants us too.

You can let go of all that anger you carry around inside. Stop lying to yourself and saying you cant, because you can. You just don’t want to. I spent the first 2 years in recovery angrier than some of my worst days on drugs. We can become addicted to emotions just like any other substance because they change the way we act. They are mood altering.

I realised, if I can give up heroin, I can give up anger. If I can give up booze and cigarettes, I can give up hatred and if I can leave that old lifestyle behind that I was so passionate about, I can put that effort into being passionate about something productive and worthwhile.

And if I can do it, anyone can.

What Are You Passionate About?

Passion (from the Ancient Greek verb πάσχω (paskho) meaning to suffer) is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something.

The term is also often applied to a lively or eager interest in, or admiration for a proposal, cause, or activity or love - to a feeling of unusual excitement, enthusiasm or compelling emotion, a positive affinity or love, towards a subject, idea, person, or object.

The way we think and act are very important but emotions tend to be somewhat frowned upon. Extreme emotions are even considered dangerous because we are supposed to keep a level head and act thoughtfully and prayerfully but the same God who created our minds created emotions too.

They reflect the image of God in men and women of faith everywhere. Passion and a heart for God is the potent blend that will see mountains moved, souls saved and the kingdom of heaven growing on earth. We need to have a passion for God and the things of His kingdom because that’s what compels us to walk close to Him and want to do His will.

Passion is belief in motion.

Belief is essential to all Christs followers. Belief is the entry into relationship with God and it isn’t simply just a mind based agreement. Belief is the whole embrace of Christ in your life. Yet belief without passion is nothing.

Belief that doesn’t manifest in emotional expressions quickly shrinks and becomes dry, it becomes something pathetic really. Don’t get me wrong, the relationship with God doesn’t end but it doesn’t go anywhere either.

There is a part of our life with God that is intimate and hidden, the psalmist calls it the secret place.

Psalm 27:5, in the secret place of His tent He will hide me.

Psalm 31:20 you hide them in the secret place of your presence from the conspiracies of man, you keep them secretly in a shelter from the strife of tongues.

This is the place where the flame is kindled but if we keep it there it will suffocate.

When we fan that flame into a passionate fire your life with God becomes a Holy force to be reckoned with. And like a true fire, it gives of heat, it gives of light, it has the power to consume, to change and to transform its surroundings.

Do you know someone who is passionate about their football team? We all do. They wear the team colours even when their side is running rough, they go to all the home games and some of the away matches too, they get there early and are the last to leave. They know the whole team and all the stats and when they are at the game there’s no doubt who they are cheering for. Passionate.

Its how we are meant to be as Christians and in our ministries.

Passion is the freedom to let belief out of the closet of our minds where it can draw some fresh oxygen into its lungs and start living life. Passion by definition, moves beyond what is expected or what is considered normal. It draws attention to itself, perhaps for good, sometimes not, but it is never hidden. If we lack passion, we are ripping ourselves off from living a full life.

Passion without direction becomes a loose cannon and can cause more harm than good, so the greater the passion the greater the wisdom needed to harness this powerful expression to the building of God’s kingdom.

Our passion for seeing God’s kingdom grow will affect the way you worship, and it may look extreme…you might clap your hands and sing loudly and even move in time to the music…you might even raise your hands in the air in praise to Him…but it will be authentic. People will mock you for it and judge you. They’re the ones that have no passion. They’re the ones who believe with their mind but the fire has turned to cold coal.

Its ok to clap and dance in church. Its ok to boldly agree while the message is being delivered and say 'Amen!'. Its ok to sit in the gutter and talk to people. Can you imagine how much different church would be if we were half as keen as a proud football supporter?

Passion will affect the way you pray and serve….it will affect your friendships and relationships. Passion will release you to share your faith without any fear. I love giving my testimony to others. Give me the slightest chance and I’ll tell others about how Jesus changed my life.

That’s what passion does.

God wants us to be passionate about things. He wants it to be an empowering force that enhances our walk with Him. We don’t need to be ashamed of it. Never hold back your exuberance of your emotions toward God. But DO allow it to be grounded and directed by truth and wisdom.

I’ll guarantee that your passion for Christ will bring disapproval from people, even people in the church. But if it’s the authentic expression of your faith and your love for God, it will bring approval from God and it’s His opinion that counts.

It's important to remember too, that if you don’t have a whole hearted focus on something worthwhile, the little things will seem like the biggest inconveniences and you’ll get indignant and angry at the most insignificant things.

You’ll hear those types of people whinge about the air conditioning in church being too cold or the music being too loud or the kids being too noisy.

Friends… Please….Don’t be so short sighted.

Get some kingdom vision and fan the flame of Godly passion and you’ll soon become grateful that your nerve endings work properly and that you feel the air con in the first place. You’ll soon realise that it’s a beautiful blessing that we have parents who bring their children into a Godly environment every week.

We will stop complaining and getting angry about the menial things and start getting stirred up about things that matter.

After cyclone Yasi, I spent nearly 2 weeks doing recovery work with the people in Tully Heads who had absolutely nothing at all. I prayed with them and lived with them and fed them and slept in the same shelter as them.

If anyone had a right to be angry, it was them, but they weren’t. Bewildered, yes. Upset, of course, but the weren’t angry. They saw the bigger picture. They had their loved ones and they had their life.

So often, we get so self absorbed we forget about the things that really matter. Our selfish attitude has us do things we regret later. We use angry words, and we are hostile towards others for no other reason than they didn’t comply with the selfish standards we have set and expect others to meet to make us happy.

We are at this very moment as close to God as we really choose to be. True, there are times when we would like to know a deeper intimacy, but when it comes to the point, we aren’t prepared to pay the price involved to get closer to Him. We are more interested in work, or friends or anything else that is a little more enjoyable than getting on our knees and spending quality time with him.

The Message bible says (Matt 5:6) “ you’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat”.

Appetite is always an indicator of a healthy life. When a person loses their hunger for food it’s a glaring sign that the body is sick and needs healing. The same is true with our spiritual walk. Its like taking our spiritual temperature and checking our vital signs.

Do you yearn for time amongst other believers that are struggling? Do you desire to make a difference in the world today? Are you passionate about sharing the things God has been doing in you with others?

Of course no one is wide open and passionate all the time. It’s entirely normal for feelings to ebb and flow but its also important to know the average level of spiritual hunger that characterises your life. When feelings are low, your core beliefs allow you to hold true to your course and not get shipwrecked by destructive appetites, and so it should surprise us that this world of spiritual forces that we live in tries to lure us away from our passion with glittery substitutes.

There are plenty of things that seem to comfort our soul and bring us temporary pleasure but just like junk food, the satisfaction fades quickly and leaves a dull ache in its wake. On the other side of the coin, the pleasures of God bring lasting satisfaction that doesn’t disappoint or leave a bad aftertaste.


To be continued....

What Are You Fighting For?

At coming to the end of reading Acts and the two letters to the Corinthians, I realise something. I REALLY like Paul.

His life of faith was a passion for him. There is nothing conventional or dull or routine about the way he pursues God. I meet people all the time who want to reduce God to an argument, but for Paul it was risking his entire life in an act of love.

I also meet people who think being a Christian means being nice, and they disguise all the unlovely parts of their lives so that they appear to be smiling, polite and well adjusted.

For Paul, being a Christian meant plunging into confrontations and encounters that engaged his emotions and his thoughts in a great contest against evil and a great venture into holiness.

He was a warrior! He fought WITH the church, side by side against the enemies that came against it.

He fought AGAINST the church too, when people defected from Christ, but in the thick of those battles, he was always, in essence, still fighting FOR the church.

What is the overflow of your heart? Are you in a legitimate fight for something worthwhile or merely looking for a fight because you aren't really in one?

Mind Your 'P's' and 'Q's'

I was out with a group of friends this evening at a local park. We were planning an event that is taking place in a few short weeks. Some young men came to use the park in the cool of the evening and kick a football around. Those young men sure knew how to swear. In fact, they put combinations of swear words together that I'd never even thought of (and I've been a fisherman for over 15 years before my current line of work).

If our group had been staying longer, I would have had no problem confronting the men and challenging them to refine their language, but why is coarse language so offensive and should a gentleman ever swear?

As soon as humans developed language, they probably also learned how to swear. Swearing exists in most cultures and languages and is taboo in the vast majority of them. But men often seem incapable of removing swearwords from their vocabulary. Sure, swearing has its uses; it emphasises points and emotional expressions well, and it and can be used for comic or dramatic effect. Some studies have even shown that a swearword can physically reduce pain, like when you stub your toe. 

But since these uses are most effective in moderation, when did using a swearword in every other sentence become acceptable?

There are reasons these words are designated as taboo.These reasons haven’t changed, so here is a little reminder of why a gentleman shouldn't swear.

It's Immature.

Remember how when you were a teenager, swearing was an act of rebellion? It probably helped you fit in with the cool crowd, and was maybe even a crude attempt to impress girls. Newsflash: You aren’t a pimply adolescent any more. Swearing doesn’t make you more attractive to women, and it doesn’t make you look cool.

You’re a man now, and that should mean that swearing is off the agenda. Just because the “cool” guy in sales swears does not mean you should return to the playground and copy him. Are you a gentleman who knows his own mind or just a kid playing grown-up? Be a man and know that you don’t need to swear to be popular.

It makes you look stupid.

We can accept that a strategically used swearword can be effective, but frankly, if your default of communication is to rely on an expletive, you have a fundamental inability to express yourself well. Language is so rich, with such a diverse choice of words for any situation, that for every swear word you could use, there are probably hundreds of more appropriate words available. These can range from the elaborate to the very simple. Stop swearing and broaden your vocabulary. Besides, there are plenty of other ways you can make yourself look stupid.

Swearing is inconsiderate.

Why assume that everyone around you tolerates swearing? That is an inconsiderate and arrogant attitude. For all you know, the people around you could be deeply offended by the use of bad language, not to mention that it comes across as aggressive and intimidating. You wouldn’t make off-colour jokes in front of a lady or children, so why risk insulting people by swearing?

Take a moment to realize that not only could you seriously upset other people, but you could also make a bad name for yourself. At work, it can even be taken as harassment or bullying, which can have grave consequences.

You can't take it back.

Once you've let the genie out of the bottle, the damage is done. Swearing as an attempt to show off in front of a woman is ridiculous; it’s the equivalent of pulling a woman’s pigtails and running away. And, in general, people can form an impression of you that won’t shift. Swearing often earns you a bad reputation, and the damage it can do to relationships can be terminal.

These are but a few of the many reasons to mind what comes out of your mouth, because a gentleman would never run the risk of embarrassing himself or another.

There's Something in Your Eye!

"There are lot of people around who can't wait to tell you what you've done wrong, but there aren't many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up." 1 Corinthians 4:16 (MSG)

Oh! How quick we are to criticise! We still suffer the age old problem of trying to remove the splinter from our brothers eye while there is a log in our own.


Every day, we hear people offer 'advice' which isn't so much as constructive criticism.


Constructive criticism is meant to be the process of offering valid and well reasoned opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments, in a friendly manner rather than an oppositional one. When used properly in ministry work, this kind of criticism is meant to be a valuable 'tool' in raising and maintaining performance standards.


But we don't build up when we criticise. We tear down. We don't encourage, we are pointing the finger in blame and don't offer a helping hand to lift someone back up.


We live in a self help culture that really needs a father figure who doesn't criticise, who builds up instead of tearing down. We need our role models to offer guidance and not criticism. At the end of the day, criticism is a negative form of correction whether it's called constructive or not. Correction, on the other hand, can always include positive reinforcement when delivered non judgementally.


Who will stand up and help others grow up? Where are the father figures who will love unconditionally and offer firm reassurance, who will blaze a path for young men to follow?


Who will open their hearts and homes to the hurting, the down trodden and the broken?


Of course, correction is necessary when mistakes are made, but that correction can still be firm and loving: without criticism.


The world will criticise us enough. There are people in the church who will criticise us. Our biological families, our workmates will criticise us too.


Where are the fathers (those strong and established in their faith) and the real Men of Honour who are willing to take the time and effort to help the young in faith grow up?


You may say this dialogue is a criticism in itself. No.


Why?


I offer this as an encouragement while I assume this very role I have asked about.

Where Are All The Good Men?

How should men live their lives in a time when traditional manhood is not needed, and in many cases not even wanted or respected? Is there any reason to strive to live the manly code if it does not come with societal honor and reward, and if failure to do so carries no threat of shame? Is it possible to conceive a manhood that stays true to the past but also offers men a way to move forward?

Throwing out the old code of manhood was supposed to be liberating for men and women alike. Yet men’s suicide rates are sharply rising while their high school graduation rates are falling. Men increasingly wish to opt-out of contributing to society at all. They feel restless and adrift. And women have been left to wonder, “Where have all the good men gone?"

It's no surprise that an emphasis on manhood is currently very weak. Society doesn’t need most men to perform dirty, strenuous, dangerous jobs for which their propensity for risk-taking and their physical strength make them uniquely suited. Men are so seemingly unnecessary that we have even began speculating whether we might have reached “the end of all the good men.”

For individual men of certain disciplines, and I include myself here, this can still be a fantastic era for manhood. Adherence to the masculine code is no longer enforced, but we can still willingly choose to follow aspects of it. Not because someone else is making us, but because we find it helps us live a fulfilling, flourishing life. 

The manly tasks are even more satisfying when we intentionally seek them out and freely choose them ourselves.

We can choose to be menly men, to be gentlemen who cleave to those high moral standards of a bygone era and continue to encourage our piers that society still does long for Men of Honour.

Integrity

You’re a government employee and you hear of plans for a new shopping center and airport development. The price of property in the area is likely to increase sharply once public announcement is made. Should you tell your friend who owns property in the area and is planning to sell? Should you buy property yourself?

You’ve been really struggling in a class you need to pass. You studied hard for the exam, but still aren’t feeling confident about it. Your friend took the test earlier in the day and offers to tell you exactly what was on it. Should you let him?

Your ex-girlfriend comes into town and wants to have a casual, friendly lunch. Do you tell your wife?

What would you do in the above scenarios? How long would it take you to decide? Integrity is one of those abstract qualities that we all wish to possess, but often find difficult to apply when it comes to real situations and practical dilemmas. What will we do when faced with questions like those above?

The word integrity is related to the roots of words like “integrate”  and “entire.” In Spanish it is rendered “integro,” meaning whole. Integrity thus implies the state of being complete, undivided, intact, and unbroken. Integrity is really the bond that holds a man’s other virtues together; it is the mark of a man who has successfully integrated all good principles. His life is a unified whole.

Why Live with Integrity?

It’s Easier

It may not seem like it at first, but living with integrity is easier than living a deceitful life. While making unethical decisions is often easier in the short term, it eventually takes its toll. There’s no real happiness to be found in struggling to remember your lies, living in fear of getting caught, and not feeling like you truly earned your reward. It’s empty and stressful. Living with integrity brings wholeness and peace. Your conscience can rest easy, and you can look at yourself in the mirror with pride.

It Builds Trust

A man of integrity is a man others can count on. They know he will do what he says he will do. He is promoted at work because he can be trusted with greater responsibility. His wife knows that when he says he’s working late, he really is. His friends feel comfortable opening up to him and turning to him in times of crisis. When you choose to live with integrity, all of your relationships will be healthier, stronger, and more satisfying.

It Serves as a Basis for Value Judgments

The questions given above raise some sticky issues. Every day we are faced with similar dilemmas. A commitment to live a life of integrity allows you clarity when you have to make hard choices. You won’t be at war with yourself over which path to choose. Instead, you’ll experience the confidence that comes with having every aspect of your life knit together in a unity of purpose.

A Man of Honour is a man of integrity.

Living a life of integrity is a daily process that’s doesn’t end until your life does. Here are some ways to develop integrity:

Decide now, not later. Many men have not thought through their personal value system. They’re not sure who they are or what they stand for, and they wait until the breaking of a crisis to make their decision. At that point, it’s too late. Faced then with great pressure, you will be more prone to take the route which is easier in that moment. Decide now what you will and will not compromise on. Then, when faced with ethical choices, the decision will have already been made.

Quit the rationalizations. There’s always a million reasons to compromise your integrity. You hear them on the news every day as corporate bigwigs struggle to justify their fat bonus checks. You can always come up with justifications that seemingly make good sense and let you sleep better at night. But at the end of the day, when you place your rationalizations on a scale next to integrity, you’ll realize you sold out something priceless for a measly pittance. There’s nothing more valuable than your good name and the ability to look at yourself in the mirror each day with a clear conscience.

Don’t take the first step. When a great man falls from grace, we often wonder how he could have ever messed up so royally. The truth is that he didn’t wake up one day and decide to commit an egregious blunder. It started with a little fudging here, a tiny bit of lying there. From there he just kept on sliding down the slippery slope of compromise. Don’t compromise on the little things, and you won’t on the bigger ones.

Don’t justify the means for the end. This is probably the most popular rationalization for breaking with your integrity. In reality, the journey towards an accomplishment or decision is just as important as the destination itself. Even if you are richly rewarded at the end, if you cannot look back on the means used to get there with anything but shame, your victory will be hollow indeed.

Take personal responsibility for you life. At the heart of integrity is the ability to own up to the fact that you are in control of your life. You are responsible for both your successes and your failures. Nobody else but you.

3 Ways to Ensure Your Wife's Respect

Every human being on the planet yearns for respect, but especially men. For a man, respect is the lifeblood of our emotional stability, the air our lungs breathe, the milk on our Weetbix, the petrol in our internal-combustion engines. In other words, it's what makes us go.

Respect is sometimes demanded, enforced and argued about. Gangs and countries have gone to war, and men have died for lack of it, but when freely given, it means the most to us. For a wife, respect is given as an order from the apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:33, "let the wife see that she respects her husband.”. In other words, it's not enough to love him, to coddle him, to baby him, although those things are kind of nice sometimes (I'm not going to lie!), but it's most important that she respects him.

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs wrote in Love & Respect, that respect is like the air a man breathes, and being disrespected is like pinching off a man's oxygen hose so that he slowly dies a suffocating death. However, it says the same about love to a woman. A wife being commanded through Scripture to respect her husband can be a difficult pill to swallow if the husband is mean, irritable, critical and unloving.

Here are the three P's of loving our wives well so that she can respect us easily and without feeling like a traitor to her own heart:

Praise her. 

Too often, we as men think something and fail to say it. We dig into a home-cooked meal, walk past a manicured garden, put on clean clothes, cash a second paycheck, all the while thinking this is nice, but never saying it. "Honey, thank you for working to help provide for this family," "Honey, thank you for doing that yard work, the yard looks great," "Honey, this meal is fantastic. Thank you." Or how about “Woman! You are looking so fine, YOU make that dress look good!" Praise your wife ... daily. Praising her often is loving her well!

Promote her. 

Praising her is speaking well of her ... to her. Promoting her is speaking well of her to others. The first people to whom you should be speaking well of her, are your family. Your children should hear you speak lovingly and adoringly about your wife often. Your sons will learn how to treat their own wives from you. I know, scary thought, but true. Your daughters will learn how to be treated from you. Start early and praise her often. Proverbs 31 says that "her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her." If you want a Proverbs 31 virtuous wife, treat her like one. A man who promotes his wife in public earns respect. A man who discredits his wife in public earns contempt

Protect Her.

We are Human.  There are going to be times when your wife sins or falls short.  Cover her.  Don’t blab about her failure and don’t grind her failures in her face.  Cover her.  1 Peter 4:8 says this “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”  To love your wife well means to cover her, just as your Pastor is your spiritual covering of the local church, Jesus is our spiritual covering before the Father over the complete church, you husband, are the covering of your family.

As men, we sometimes feel that our wives will respect us for the things we respect other men for, accomplishments, money, occupation, the toys we own or cars we drive.

The truth is, our wives respect us for how we treat them, so praise her, promote her and protect her and she in turn will respect you.

As always, may you love your wives well and be mighty Men of Honour who always chase after the heart of God.

The Belt of Truth

Lying is one of the oldest vices in the world—it made its debut in the first recorded conversation in history, in a famous conversation in the garden of Eden. 

Lying is the sacrifice of honour to create a wrong impression. Truth can stand alone, because it doesn't need a chaperone or escort. Lies, on the other hand, are cowardly, fearsome things that must travel in gangs. 

Lying is the partner and accomplice of all the other vices.

Truth is the oldest of all the virtues; it antedated man, it lived before there was man to perceive it or to accept it. It is the unchangeable, the constant. 

In speech, the man who makes Truth his watchword is careful in his words, he seeks to be accurate, neither understating nor over-coloring. 

He never states as a fact that of which he is not sure. What he says has the ring of sincerity, the hallmark of pure gold. If he praises you, you accept his statement as “net,” you do not have to work out what discount you ought to make to what he has said before you accept his judgment. 

His promise counts for something, you accept it as being as good as his bond, you know that no matter how much it may cost him to verify and fulfill his word by his deed, he will do it. 

His honesty is not policy. The man who is honest merely because it is “the best policy,” is not really honest, he is only political. Usually such a man would forsake his loyalty to truth and would work overtime for the devil—if he could get better terms.

One of the things we discussed at our Men of Honour group recently was truth. The importance of not just speaking the truth but seeking it out and making it as much a part of you as breathing and blinking, so that if someone where to ever speak badly about you behind your back, no one would believe them.

The Belt of Truth

"A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere." (Ephesians 6:10-18 NLT)

The first piece of armor Paul mentions in Ephesians 6:14 is "the belt of truth" (New Living Translation). What purpose did the belt serve for a Roman soldier? What purpose does the belt of truth serve for us?

The guys from Mythbusters interviewed Deputy Shawn Osborne, whose standard-issue belt buckle deflected a bullet at close range, saving his life. In spite of a big bruise, Deputy Osborne knew he was "very lucky."

Belt buckles are not designed to stop bullets. But there was a time when belts were an important part of defensive armour.

When the apostle Paul describes the armor of God, he is talking about more than a simple set of helpful tips. He is talking about the indestructible defenses of the Almighty God. These are the keys to withstanding the repetitive attacks and onslaughts of the evil forces that stand against us. They are ultimate and infinitely powerful tools available to us as Christians.

And he chooses to begin describing that set of armor by talking about...a belt?

Why, of all things, a belt? He could have started with the mighty sword of the Spirit, the towering shield of faith, the shining breastplate of righteousness—anything but some measly old belt. But he didn't. So that begs the question—why?

What was the belt used for in the Roman army?

The belt played a crucial role in the effectiveness of a soldier's armor. It was the belt that held the scabbard, without it, there would be no place to put a sword. Imagine an overzealous soldier, fired up and charging out into battle—but without his belt, and in turn, without a weapon! Not the makings of an epic battle for THAT guy!

In addition, from the belt "hung strips of leather to protect the lower body." The belt "girds on [secures] all the other pieces of our armor." Truth should cleave to us as a belt cleaves to our body.

What is truth?

Jesus, praying to the Father, gives a clear and straightforward definition of truth: God's Word. John 17:17 Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.

The Holy Scripture was given by inspiration of God (2 Timothy 3:16). The Greek expression translated "inspiration of God" literally means "God-breathed"! He actively and fully inspired the Bible to reveal His truth to us.

His promises, His commands, His word—they are all truth, plain and simple. After all, "The LORD of hosts has purposed, and who will annul it? His hand is stretched out, and who will turn it back?" (Isaiah 14:27). If God says something, there is no force that can stop Him from doing it—we can rest assured that it will be done.

What does truth have to do with a belt?

1 Thessalonians 5:21

Test all things; hold fast what is good.

Let me share some biblical history.

The Bereans were residents of the city of Berea in the New Testament. Paul and Silas preached to them during Paul’s second missionary journey. The account of Paul and Silas in this location is recorded in Acts 17:10-15. It reads,

"The brothers immediately sent Paul and Silas away by night to Berea, and when they arrived they went into the Jewish synagogue. Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so. Many of them therefore believed, with not a few Greek women of high standing as well as men. But when the Jews from Thessalonica learned that the word of God was proclaimed by Paul at Berea also, they came there too, agitating and stirring up the crowds. Then the brothers immediately sent Paul off on his way to the sea, but Silas and Timothy remained there. Those who conducted Paul brought him as far as Athens, and after receiving a command for Silas and Timothy to come to him as soon as possible, they departed."

These Bereans exhibited several positive characteristics that marked their response to the gospel message. First and foremost, the Bereans were “more noble” because of their willing reception of the Word of God. Unlike the unbelieving Thessalonian Jews, these hearers were eager to hear the teaching of Paul and Silas.

Second, the Bereans examined what they heard by comparing it to the Old Testament Scriptures. The fact that they honestly listened and conducted further personal research led many Bereans to faith in Jesus as the Messiah. This expansion of Christianity was not limited to those within the synagogue, but also extended to many Greek men and women in Berea.

Third, the Bereans guarded Paul’s safety. When Paul’s enemies arrived from nearby Thessalonica, the Berean believers protected Paul by getting him out of the region. They did not turn him over to his enemies or disassociate from him as the Jews from Thessalonica might have expected.

Fourth, the Bereans continued to grow in their faith. After Paul’s departure, Silas and Timothy remained in Berea. Why? The Bible does not explicitly say, but one reason was probably to give the Berean Christians a chance to obtain further instruction in the Christian faith.

Later in the book of Acts, we are given further insight into the faithfulness of at least one Berean man. When Paul decides to return for additional ministry in Macedonia despite the tremendous persecution he had recently faced, one of the men who chose to accompany him was from Berea: “There he spent three months, and when a plot was made against him by the Jews as he was about to set sail for Syria, he decided to return through Macedonia. Sopater the Berean, son of Pyrrhus, accompanied him” (Acts 20:3-4). Sopater, likely a Gentile Christian, continued to assist Paul (and Timothy) in ministry long after Paul’s first visit to Berea.

In short, the Bereans have long been seen as a positive example of how a person or community should respond to biblical teaching. We are called to eagerly learn from God’s Word and, no matter who the teacher is, to investigate new teaching in comparison with the Bible. The practice of the ancient Bereans is a model for all who desire to grow spiritually today.

As Christians, we are to test all things and then hold on only to that which is good—the truth—discarding all else. We are to be like the Bereans who "searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so" (Acts 17:11). If we are not convinced that our principles and beliefs are without exception 100 percent true, how can we expect to accomplish anything?

Proverbs 3:3-4

Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, and so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man.

A belt encompasses the waist. Does our conviction to the truth encompass us? As the last scripture notes, truth must be bound around us and written on our hearts—our conviction must reach beyond an outward show.

The belt used in Roman armor, as we have just discussed, provided a place for the soldier's sword. Our sword—the sword of the Spirit—likewise needs a sheath. Truth is vital because, like a Roman soldier's belt, it allows us to carry the sword of the Spirit and use it effectively.

What other lessons can we learn from the biblical analogy of having our waist "girded" by a belt?

Luke 12:35-37

Let your waist be girded and your lamps burning; and you yourselves be like men who wait for their master, when he will return from the wedding, that when he comes and knocks they may open to him immediately. Blessed are those servants whom the master, when he comes, will find watching. Assuredly, I say to you that he will gird himself and have them sit down to eat, and will come and serve them.

Christ told us to always be watching and ready for His return.

1 Peter 1:13

Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ...

Peter used an interesting analogy: "Gird up the loins of your mind." This implies tucking in long garments to be ready to move quickly. The New International Version translates it as "prepare your minds for action."

What are the dangers of not wearing the belt?

Romans 12:2

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

The world we live in teaches that truth is what we make it—that good and bad are relative and that there are no absolutes, only equally valid opinions. But the Bible teaches that truth is God's Word—that good and bad are defined by Him and that there are eternal and unchangeable absolutes, uninfluenced by opinions.

Paul wrote to the Romans telling them to "not be conformed to this world." Part of that means not buying into a system of belief that says absolute truth is a myth. As Christians, we know both that there is truth and that it is absolute.

2 Timothy 2:15

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Imagine a belt with a segment missing. No matter how tiny the sliver that isn't there, the belt is still useless. To do its job, it must be one continuous, unbroken piece.

Now imagine living a way of life you don't completely agree with. Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal—after all, what are a couple minor points that you're not sure about?

To try to live God's way without total belief in its validity is like trying to hold your sword up with a belt that isn't continuous. Neither will work. Our trust in God and His Word must be solid, without break, or else we will quickly find ourselves without a weapon. No matter how effective the rest of our armor is, we are useless without our sword. We need to be rightly dividing the word of truth—knowing what we believe, and why.

So - how secure is your belt?