What is Your Word Worth?

Everything is measured by some standard of value. Material things are measured by length, breadth, weight, density, usefulness, or intrinsic value.

Character also has its standard of measurement. Some people are valued more highly than others, whether in the community, in the church, or in the nation. People are valued, not for their physical size or weight, but for their abilities and more especially for their characters.

In a Christian, the special thing of value, and the only special thing, is his character. If one's character is not of a higher and better quality than that of people in general, in my personal opinion, that one has no right to the name 'Christian'.

The quality of one's character is indicated in various ways. A man's words are generally a clear index to one's character. A person is judged by them, and his value is reckoned by the reliance that may be placed upon his word. We all know someone on whose word we fully rely. If they tell us anything, we believe them. If they make us a promise, we do not expect it to be broken. We rely upon them because they have shown by their conduct that they themselves place a high value upon their own word.

It's often said of such people, "If he says it is so, it is true," or, "If he makes a promise, he will fulfil it." Such men wield a strong influence in a community. People can easily believe and trust in their character. It is a sad fact that such individuals are the exception rather than the rule, even among professed Christians.

How many times promises are made only to be broken or forgotten! This is a grave matter and marks a serious defect in Christian character. We should never make a promise unless we fully expect to fulfil it, and we ought to feel under deep obligation to keep our promise. If we are careless and neglectful of this, it is sure to lower us in men's esteem, and we shall be cheapened and discredited.

Hasty Promises.

Many times promises are made hastily. The person does not stop to consider what he really is promising; he does not weigh its meaning. He says, "Yes, yes, I will"; but later when he thinks the matter over, it looks different to him. He is sorry that he made the promise, and begins to look for some way out so that he will not have to fulfil it.

These hasty promises are just as binding as any others. If we ignore them and do not make our word good, the persons to whom we have made them will have just reason to condemn us. It is easier to make promises than it is to fulfil them.

Beware of making haste to promise. Think about the fulfilment. Think whether you really want to do, or really will do, what you promise. Consider your promises binding. Have the fear of God before you just as much in this matter as in other things. If you wish people to value your word, you must show that you value it yourself. If you do not value it enough to keep it, do not expect others to value it. If you value your word, it will make you careful about your promises -- careful in making them, careful in keeping them.

Do not make rash promises.

Consider what you are promising. Is it something that you can perform? Consider your ability and what things may hinder. Have you any just reason to suppose that you can fulfil it? Would it be wise for you to do it? Would it be best? Have you made other promises that will conflict with it? Remember that when you once promise, if you do not keep your word your failure leaves a shadow upon your character in the mind of the one you promised unless there is some good and sufficient reason to excuse you in his sight.

Do not make careless promises.

The Bible tells us that in our planning we should say, "If the Lord will"; that is, we should take in to consideration that the unexpected may happen. We do not know the future; therefore we ought not to make our promises too positive. We ought to qualify them so as to allow for hindrances.

We ought to be honest in making our promises. Many promises are made when there is no intention of carrying them out. Many people, rather than to say no, will promise and then refuse to perform, thereby making themselves liars. They have not manhood enough to refuse and honestly tell why, so they make a promise and break it. That is the coward's way out. It is the dishonest way out.

Some people say, "If the Lord wills, I will do so," when they do not consider the Lord in the matter at all, but simply mean, "If I do not change my mind." If you think you may change your mind, do not commit yourself definitely. If you are not fully decided, do not be afraid to say that you do not know what you will do. Be honest enough to let the other know the state of your mind. Be honest in making promises; be honest in fulfilling them.

Fidelity to Promises.

Do not make too many promises. He who is too free to promise, places little value upon his promises. He forgets them readily or lets some trifle hinder the performance of them. He always has a ready excuse to ease his conscience and to release himself from the obligation. This indicates a want of character, a lack of real sincerity.

When you make a promise, do not forget it, do not break it. Never disappoint people when you can help it. They feel disappointment as keenly as you do. There is an old saying that "promises are made to be broken." Are your promises of the 'meant to be broken' variety?

When you make promises, keep them. They are a test of your character. I do not mean that you should be under bondage to your promises. Sometimes we fully believe we can and will perform them, but later find that it is impossible. In such a case we should explain matters and so relieve the mind of the one to whom the promise was made and show him that the failure to make good our word is not due to neglect or unwillingness.

Keep your business promises. Many persons get into debt and promise to pay and then just let things drift along. This is wrong. Pay your debts when you agree to, or give a reason for not doing so, and let it be a reason, not an excuse. If you promise to do work for some one, do it. Keep your promise if you must sacrifice to do so.

What is your word worth? What value do you place on it? What value do others place on it? What value does God place on it? God wants you to "speak the truth, and lie not." Your standing, your influence, your usefulness -- all depend upon your faithfulness; and if you are faithful, you will be faithful to your promises.

Think seriously over these things. If you are at fault, set about to make it right. Such a fault will be a blight upon your life and upon your character until it is corrected.

Do You Really Know God?

Genesis 3 relates one of the most amazing stories in the Bible.

Eve was convinced by a talking snake that she didn't have everything she needed to make her happy.

How could this happen?

It's understandable how people today are discontent and looking for something, but Adam and Eve were perfect. They were living in a perfect world with no problems. How could they fall for such a line?

One of the factors was that they didn't really know God. You may think, "What? They walked and talked with God every day in the cool of the evening. Certainly they knew God!"

But they didn't really know the nature and character of our loving Father, or they would never have believed the lie that God was keeping something good from them. Before Satan could tempt Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, he had to make her believe that the Lord didn't have her best interests in mind.

God had never given Adam and Eve any reason to doubt His love and care for them, but how did they know there wasn't something better out there. Since they didn't know what bad was, they had no way to compare how good God was. They had never had the thought that God loved them so much that He would give His only Son to die for them. Their knowledge of God was very limited compared to what we now know of God.

This is a startling truth. We can actually know God more completely and intimately than Adam and Eve did. God has revealed Himself to us through His Word in a way that makes us infinitely more prepared to resist Satan's lies than Adam and Eve were.

Knowing God through His Word is better than having some visible or audible experience. That's what Peter said. In 2 Peter 1:15-21. Peter was trying to assure his readers that the Gospel he had communicated to them was not just some fable or tradition he had heard.

He had known Jesus personally. He even saw Jesus on the mountain when he began to radiate light, and the audible voice of God came out of heaven saying, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him" (Matt. 17:5).

That should be enough proof for anybody, right? No, Peter doesn't stop there. He goes on to say, "We have also a more sure word of prophecy" (2 Pet. 1:19).

Wait! What could be better or more trustworthy than seeing and hearing for yourself that Jesus was God. In verse 20, he says that the "more sure word" is the Scriptures. The Scriptures are more sure reliable than our own senses.

Most of us have not had this attitude. In fact, many people only study the Word hoping that by doing so, they can attain to some experience. If that experience were to come, they would throw the Bible down in a second and revel in the experience. We have become so dominated by sense knowledge that in most people's lives, it overrules everything else.

That was Eve's problem. She wanted to experience for herself what good and evil were. She wanted knowledge that only came by experience. God's Word wasn't good enough. She had to feel it. Sound familiar?

Just as with Eve, Satan has deceived us into thinking that what we have is not enough. He has us chasing an elusive dream that doesn't exist. Sure we can feel and experience God in some tangible ways, but that should not be our goal.

Through God's Word, we can know Him in a way that Adam and Eve never did. And if we truly know Him, Satan will be powerless to lead us away from God because it's the goodness of God that leads us to repentance (Rom. 2:4).

Herein lies the real root problem for everyone: We don't know God as we should. It's not God's fault. He has been intricately involved in the affairs of men and has meticulously recorded His dealings in His Word. He has also given us the Holy Spirit to reveal the great truths of His Word to us. We just haven't been showing up for class.

The Lord said, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge" (Hosea 4:6). Specifically, the knowledge about the very nature and character of God is missing. Galatians 5:6 says faith works by love.

If we really knew the love of God in an intimate way, our faith would work too.

It's my hope that as you read these blogs and are challenged to study God's Word, you will experience an intimacy that lets you experience Him like never before.

The Dangers of Emotional Affairs

Is there anything wrong with having a close friend of the opposite sex after you’re married? 

While there may be no clear answer, there are compelling reasons to be cautious about opposite-sex friendships outside of your spouse’s company. No matter how happy and secure your marriage, you should always protect your relationship against temptation, deception and potential affairs.

Most affairs begin as an innocent connection between two people. You may be brought together through work, church or school. But if your guard isn’t up and your boundaries aren’t well-established, a newly developing connection can quickly become entangled. As you spend time together, either face-to-face, through the computer or by phone, you may find yourself gradually sucked into an emotional affair that can rip a marriage to shreds even though the relationship never becomes physical.

The damage begins when you find yourself sharing information, thoughts or feelings that should have been kept between you and your spouse. This is an emotional betrayal that cuts into the heart of a marriage. The damage worsens as you begin to distance yourself emotionally and physically from your spouse and increase time with your friend.

Eventually, the friendship crosses the line when it introduces elements that should never be part of a marriage – secrets and lies. This deception destroys the foundation of marital security, and once it begins, it’s difficult to stop.

Because an emotional affair remains nonsexual, it is easy to rationalize:

“We’re just friends.”

“He’s never touched me.”

“We aren’t doing anything wrong.”

The relationship continues because the unfaithful spouse reasons away guilt.

Before you were married, you may have had lots of friends of the opposite sex. But once you’ve said “I do,” your relationship with your spouse must now take priority over every other relationship, and it must be protected against any threat.

So if you are close friends with someone of the opposite sex, you may need to honestly look at that relationship to determine if you have fallen into an emotional affair. Here are a few warning signs that may indicate your friendship has crossed the line from platonic to romantic:

Do your conversations with your friend include things that should be kept between you and your spouse?

Do you find yourself daydreaming about your friend?

Have you found yourself withdrawing from your spouse emotionally or physically?

Do you look for excuses to see or talk to your friend?

Do you share thoughts, feelings and problems with your friend instead of your spouse?

Are you convinced that your friend understands you better than your spouse?

Is there flirting or sexual tension?

Do you look for “legal” ways to touch your friend (brush lint off his jacket, help her with her coat)?

Do you find yourself paying attention to how you look before you see your friend?

Is there any secrecy about your relationship (how much time you spend together, what you do together, what you talk about)?

Protect your marriage!

No marriage is affair proof. We are all at risk of losing our focus and being swept into an emotional affair. But you can do several things to safeguard your marriage:

Stay honest with yourself and your spouse. If you find yourself attracted to someone, admit it quickly to yourself and your spouse. Honesty is the key to preventing a relationship from escalating into an affair.

Avoid magazines, movies and other forms of entertainment that can increase your tolerance of affairs.

Try to see your relationships from your spouse’s perspective. What would your spouse be comfortable with? What would he or she feel about what you are doing?

Do not flirt. Most affairs begin with what’s considered “innocent flirting,” but there’s no such thing! Flirting is not a part of friendship.

Keep your marriage as your number one priority. Make sure you are working to meet your spouse’s most important needs. If you’re not sure what those are, ask.

Grow spiritually together. Pray with each other and for each other.

Set boundaries about how you will interact with the opposite sex. For instance, you and your spouse may decide that neither of you will be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even for business lunches or late nights at work.

Surround yourselves with happily married couples who don’t believe in fooling around.

You can keep your marriage safe from emotional affairs. But it requires open, honest communication and a commitment to do whatever it takes to keep your marriage your number one relationship.

What Are You Passionate About? Part 2

From last week's blog...

There are plenty of things that seem to comfort our soul and bring us temporary pleasure but just like junk food, the satisfaction fades quickly and leaves a dull ache in its wake. On the other side of the coin, the pleasures of God bring lasting satisfaction that doesn’t disappoint or leave a bad aftertaste.


Part 2

Have you got a passion for God or has it been snuffed out by distractions and things that are only temporary?

There are four simple things we can do to grow our passion for Him.

1) It goes without saying that we cannot love someone we do not know. 

Get to know God and what He has done for you. We would do well to remember that the Bible is more than a book; it is truly God’s love letter to us, revealing His love for us through the centuries, especially through the ministry of Jesus Christ, His Son. We must read the Bible as a letter from Him, asking His Holy Spirit to speak to our hearts about what He wants us to glean from it that day. Memorizing important verses and passages is also essential, as is thinking of ways to apply what we learn (Joshua 1:8).

2) Follow Jesus’ example of praying constantly and consistently.

When we examine the life of Jesus as well as that of Daniel and others who had a passion for God, we find that prayer was a vital ingredient in their relationships with God (even a quick reading of the gospels and the Book of Daniel reveals this). As with Bible study, prayer—sincere and open communication with God—is essential. You cannot imagine a man and woman growing in love without communicating, so prayer cannot be neglected without expecting one’s love for God to grow cold. Prayer is part of the armor against our greatest enemies (Ephesians 6:18).

3) Walk closely with Him NOW. 

Daniel and his three friends chose to obey God and refused to compromise in even the food they ate (Daniel 1). The others who were brought from Judah to Babylon as prisoners with them caved in and are never mentioned again. When the Jewish prisoners of war had their convictions challenged in a far greater way, it was only these few who stood alone for God (Daniel 3 and 6). In order to ensure that we will be passionate for God later, we need to walk with Him now and begin to obey Him in the smallest tests!

4) Eliminate the competition. 

Jesus said it is impossible to have two masters (Matthew 6:24). We are tempted to love the world (those things which please our eyes, make us feel good about ourselves, and gratify our fleshly desires) (1 John 2:15-17). James says that to seek to embrace the world and its friendship is enmity (hatred) toward God and spiritual adultery (James 4:4). We need to get rid of those things in our lives (friends who would lead us the wrong way, things that take up our time and energy and keep us from serving God more fully, pursuit of popularity, pursuit of possessions, and the pursuit of physical and emotional gratifications). God promises that if we pursue Him, He will not only provide for our needs (Matthew 6:33) but will give us our desires as well (Psalm 37:4-5)

There are many things in our life that can quench our passion…the loss of a loved one, circumstances and our immediate environment, but God has the ability to stir up a fire in us again IF we desire it.

If you feel distant from God or like your passion has gone….cry out to Him…He wants us too.

You can let go of all that anger you carry around inside. Stop lying to yourself and saying you cant, because you can. You just don’t want to. I spent the first 2 years in recovery angrier than some of my worst days on drugs. We can become addicted to emotions just like any other substance because they change the way we act. They are mood altering.

I realised, if I can give up heroin, I can give up anger. If I can give up booze and cigarettes, I can give up hatred and if I can leave that old lifestyle behind that I was so passionate about, I can put that effort into being passionate about something productive and worthwhile.

And if I can do it, anyone can.