Mind Your 'P's' and 'Q's'

I was out with a group of friends this evening at a local park. We were planning an event that is taking place in a few short weeks. Some young men came to use the park in the cool of the evening and kick a football around. Those young men sure knew how to swear. In fact, they put combinations of swear words together that I'd never even thought of (and I've been a fisherman for over 15 years before my current line of work).

If our group had been staying longer, I would have had no problem confronting the men and challenging them to refine their language, but why is coarse language so offensive and should a gentleman ever swear?

As soon as humans developed language, they probably also learned how to swear. Swearing exists in most cultures and languages and is taboo in the vast majority of them. But men often seem incapable of removing swearwords from their vocabulary. Sure, swearing has its uses; it emphasises points and emotional expressions well, and it and can be used for comic or dramatic effect. Some studies have even shown that a swearword can physically reduce pain, like when you stub your toe. 

But since these uses are most effective in moderation, when did using a swearword in every other sentence become acceptable?

There are reasons these words are designated as taboo.These reasons haven’t changed, so here is a little reminder of why a gentleman shouldn't swear.

It's Immature.

Remember how when you were a teenager, swearing was an act of rebellion? It probably helped you fit in with the cool crowd, and was maybe even a crude attempt to impress girls. Newsflash: You aren’t a pimply adolescent any more. Swearing doesn’t make you more attractive to women, and it doesn’t make you look cool.

You’re a man now, and that should mean that swearing is off the agenda. Just because the “cool” guy in sales swears does not mean you should return to the playground and copy him. Are you a gentleman who knows his own mind or just a kid playing grown-up? Be a man and know that you don’t need to swear to be popular.

It makes you look stupid.

We can accept that a strategically used swearword can be effective, but frankly, if your default of communication is to rely on an expletive, you have a fundamental inability to express yourself well. Language is so rich, with such a diverse choice of words for any situation, that for every swear word you could use, there are probably hundreds of more appropriate words available. These can range from the elaborate to the very simple. Stop swearing and broaden your vocabulary. Besides, there are plenty of other ways you can make yourself look stupid.

Swearing is inconsiderate.

Why assume that everyone around you tolerates swearing? That is an inconsiderate and arrogant attitude. For all you know, the people around you could be deeply offended by the use of bad language, not to mention that it comes across as aggressive and intimidating. You wouldn’t make off-colour jokes in front of a lady or children, so why risk insulting people by swearing?

Take a moment to realize that not only could you seriously upset other people, but you could also make a bad name for yourself. At work, it can even be taken as harassment or bullying, which can have grave consequences.

You can't take it back.

Once you've let the genie out of the bottle, the damage is done. Swearing as an attempt to show off in front of a woman is ridiculous; it’s the equivalent of pulling a woman’s pigtails and running away. And, in general, people can form an impression of you that won’t shift. Swearing often earns you a bad reputation, and the damage it can do to relationships can be terminal.

These are but a few of the many reasons to mind what comes out of your mouth, because a gentleman would never run the risk of embarrassing himself or another.